Twilight

With the film version of New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, raking in the cash, I'm left wondering where that money came from, because it's enough to get the country out of the economic crisis. (Okay, probably not... But it sure seems like it!)

Now me, I haven't read any of the books or seen the movies. I don't even want to. What irks me is how insanely popular the series is and how insanely devoted the fans are, so the media buzz has been non-stop. I'd be in the same boat about Harry Potter, but at least the media buzz only happened when a new book or movie came (or comes) out in that franchise.

I heard about Twilight from friends on MySpace, who mentioned it in statuses and bulletins. Then, there were comments on a YouTube fan video I'd made. Note: the video was Rebbecca St. James' song Lion matched with clips from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe. (Why? Because the song was on the album Music Inspired By The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, and had actually been written for that album, and EMI and Disney are both YouTube partners, so there'd be no problems with the video.)

Someone thought the song fit Twilight, and at first I shrugged it off. Then, after reading more comments, someone mentioned Twilight was about romantic vampires. I commented that I doubted Rebbecca St. James, a Christian music artist, would license her song for that. And then came the hate. Seriously, these insane Twilight fans started criticizing me for not making the video a Twilight video, "because that's what the song matches."

Some even claimed it didn't fit Narnia. I mentioned that I did it because the song was on a Narnia album, and if people didn't like that it wasn't a Twilight video, then they could make their own. Some idiot seriously replied "Making videos is a waste of my time." I thought, "So trolling on YouTube videos isn't?"

Finally, I was sick of it, and disabled comments and ratings. If people couldn't civilly enjoy my video for what it was, that was their problem and not mine. Narnia fans who could appreciate my videos sent their comments as comments on my channel and as personal messages, which I didn't mind.

Honestly, romantic vampires? How messed up is this? And reading a bit more online, it sounds like it gets even crazier. Sparkling bodies, and werewolves who transform at will.

Watching a commercial for New Moon on television, my sister remarked "Why can't this Bella girl get a normal guy? She's dating vampires and werewolves!" Her husband replied that in the next one, she could date a mummy. "He'd be pre-wrapped."

I've seen lots of comments that the books aren't that good and neither are the movies. ("So, Edward and Jacob take their shirts off, but Bella doesn't? What good is that?" "Yeah...") This could be proof that people do enjoy crap, but try getting them to admit that. Rather, it seems, people like Twilight because they like to fantasize about being intimate with the Supernatural... Or Edward Cullen is the hottest guy ever. (And if that one scene I saw on TV of Robert Pattinson taking his shirt off is how that looks, girls have LOW standards...)

It's not healthy to long after a person who does not exist or is dead. Fantasizing is not bad in moderation, but obsession is not good. As an Oz fan, I run across people who wish they were Princess Ozma's boyfriend or husband. (I actually own a book where a thinly-veiled Gary Stu becomes involved with Ozma.) Jonathan Ian Mathers, writer, voice actor and animator of the popular internet cartoon "Neurotically Yours" has often expressed concern at the amount of nude fan art of his female former Goth character Germaine. (Main character Foamy shouts, "stop sending me nude pictures of Germaine! There's 80 gigs of them on my hard drive!")

I've never been much of one for vampires, but I want my vampires scary, and if they're not, they should be aware that normal relationships are impossible. (If they're immortal, people they love will grow, age, and die while they remain the same.) After seeing the BBC's Being Human, I kind of got a fondness for werewolves, and also love the film An American Werewolf in London. In both, being a werewolf is a curse. It's not fun, and they have no control over what happens to them under the full moon or what they'll do. (They can control where they'll be, for example, in Being Human, George makes sure he transforms in an enclosed room or in the woods.)

I wouldn't care if the Twilight fans and media buzz could be easily tuned out by those who aren't interested, but it's not. Instead, it's force fed to us almost everyday. It's maddening!

Return to the Hundred Acre Wood

I loved A.A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh series when I was young. In fact, The House At Pooh Corner was the first full-length book I ever read. The stories of a little boy who was actually playing with his toys and woodland animals in his imagination are certainly quite charming. That led on to my reading other books, and many of the childhood classics I enjoyed so have become treasured pieces in my library.

Many of the books I've loved have had sequels written since: Peter And Wendy has been followed with the film Hook and the book Peter Pan in Scarlet, The Chronicles of Narnia were followed by an ill-fated and largely forgotten book called The Giant Surprise, goodness knows how many people have written further adventures for Alice and the Wonderland and Looking-Glass characters, and similarly, there is a countless number of further adventures in the Land of Oz written after L. Frank Baum's death. Many of these books feel like poor imitations of the initial author's style.

When I discovered that the Milne estate had authorized a new Winnie-the-Pooh book, I was interested, though put off a bit. I largely forgot about it, however. Finally, earlier this week, I found the book at a local supermarket while looking for a card. (Coincidentally, I had settled on a Pooh-themed card.) Thumbing through it, it piqued my interest. I rarely buy books off the rack (in fact, most of my books were collected through online orders), but I did this time.

I couldn't get my hopes up too high. As A.A. Milne and his son Christopher Robin Milne are dead, likely the executors of the estate could only do so much. There will never be another A.A. Milne, and though there are some impressive imitators, there will never be another E.H. Shepard.

I was surprised at the opening note, which featured the author, David Benedictus, conversing with the Pooh characters about the writing of the book, gloomy Eeyore claiming that he would not get it right.

And how did Benedictus do?

Ultimately, Eeyore was right. As I said, there will never be another A.A. Milne. While the stories were good and very fun to read, they lacked Milne's charm and the wit that flew over my head as a child but I picked up on when I was older.

That is not to say the stories are without charm, but it is completely Benedictus'. Some tones were different, for example, while death is not addressed directly in Milne, Bendictus' Owl mentions he has his Uncle Robert's ashes in a vase on his mantle, and they were scattered (and mostly recollected) when Owl's house blew over in The House At Pooh Corner.

Some of the humor was a little odd, for example, in a cricket game, when Christopher Robin explains that England and Australia have had cricket tournaments against each other, Kanga says that she and Roo will represent Australia. I didn't pick up on this a bit, then realized that of course, one of Australia's most iconic animals is the kangaroo.

Christopher Robin left the Hundred Acre Wood at the end of The House At Pooh Corner to go to school, but Return to the Hundred Acre Wood finds him returning to his friends from the original books, presumably on Summer holiday. New adventures and endeavors are had by the characters, and we meet a new character, in the tradition of Milne. (Kanga and Roo were newcomers to the Forest in Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger arrives in The House At Pooh Corner.)

The new character is Lottie the Otter, a rather proud and haughty creature who comes off as a bit modern, but eventually, I forgot she was a new character and let her go ahead and join my old favorites.

Mark Burgess' illustrations are lovely tributes to how E.H. Shepard "decorated" the original books. They closely follow Shepard's original designs, while Burgess adds his own style.

Overall, if you can overlook that this is someone who isn't A.A. Milne writing Pooh stories (which, seeing how Disney's popular sugar-coated version has been expanded upon, it's not really the first time), Return to the Hundred Acre Wood is worth a read. I wouldn't mind giving it to a niece or nephew, after they had enjoyed Milne's original works.

I don't write here often enough...

SO... Audrey and Shaun offered to let me move in with them. Thinking it over, I decided it would be a good idea. I could help them out, and my own bills would be greatly reduced. Pretty much, all I'd have to do is get a cell phone to replace my current phone service. Also, if I ever wanted to travel, no worrying about "Who'll take care of Jack?"

My biggest problem has been my work situation. While I could easily transfer, I'd prefer not to. I love the people I work with and it wouldn't feel right, doing the same work for different people.

So, today Shaun took me around to seven places and I filled out applications for them all. They were...

• Sam's Club
• Rapid Robert's
• Movie Gallery
• Dillon's
• Pet Warehouse
• Price Cutter
• Harter House
  

I'm kind of hoping for Sam's or Movie Gallery. But if I don't hear anything from them soon, I'll just transfer. Probably my best bet would be Price Cutter, as I actually worked at a Price Cutter before. That work experience would probably also increase my chances at Sam's, Harter House, or Dillon's.

Now to break the news to the folks at work...

A Sad Event

Last Saturday, Audrey called me almost midnight to tell me she'd miscarried. Knowing that that meant her baby had died, I immediately asked if she was all right. She said she was, but I know she's still dealing with it. She and Shaun are sticking together to heal together.

Not only is this a death, but they wanted a child so much. This is also them putting aside the preparation, the excitement, and the expectation of having a child.

Bad things happen, but life goes on.

Gift idea!

Stuck for a Christmas gift? Books are always good! But what if there aren't any editions out there that you can afford that are gift-worthy?

Here's a solution!

There are hundreds of books in the public domain out there, and many are online. Texts can be obtained easily from Project Gutenberg, and some illustrated editions are available from Google Books and Internet Archive. Also, sometimes a Google search can turn up illustrations.

If you have software that can format books, you're good to go! Just a bit of know-how can create good-looking editions of books.

Be sure that you aren't just creating a print-out of the book's text. Although it will require a bit of work, try fixing the paragraph margins for the book. They're done quite differently from webpages in a book. Make sure your text looks decent, and add a title page. (You can also try adding a table of contents.)

If you want to save your work as a PDF, the free software Open Office supports PDF creation, which many print-on-demand publishers will accept.

Try to keep a small page size (as in inches) when formatting your book. Smaller books are easier to wrap and more portable. You may want to visit some of the sites described in the next paragraph to determine a good size for your book.

Now, upload your finished file to a print-on-demand publishing site. Lulu.com is a good source for this. You will usually have to create a cover separate from the book, and Lulu offers a cover designer.

If everything you used is clearly legal, you can even use the site to sell copies of the book. (Remember, copies you buy will be at cost.)

I must remind you: be sure the text and any images and other material you use is public domain where you live. What is public domain in one country may not be elsewhere. If not, if the copyright owners find out, you could be in serious trouble, especially if you try to sell copies of your edition.

Although I mentioned Google Books and Archive.org, not every piece of material has been cleared for use commercially. If they discovered you used their material, you could also be in trouble. Using these would probably be all right if you're printing up a copy for a gift, but if you're trying to sell it, make sure the version you have does not prohibit commercial use. Having warned you, if you get in trouble for this, I take no responsibility. People worked to get those online for everyone to enjoy. If they don't want you to profit from their work, that is their choice.

Also, if you're using illustrations you found online, be sure that they're okay to use in print. Just because it's online, does not mean it's free to use.

So, with a little bit of care, you could have a nice book to give to someone special!

Being Human Again

So, last Saturday night, BBC America concluded their initial airing of Being Human, the supernatural drama that was a big hit in the UK early this year.

Despite blurred middle fingers and bums, muted profanity, and some cut shots, the series was still able to shine and entertain. I was lucky enough to see the uncut British version before the BBC America began their airing. (So why did I watch it on TV? To show my support and see just how it was cut for America.)

Ignoring the pilot that's been pulled from syndication in the UK and is officially unreleased in the US, the series stands on it's own. Episode one begins with a monologue from Annie, a young woman who died under mysterious circumstances by falling down the stairs in her home. As she haunts her former home, we are introduced to Mitchell, a vampire who was converted in World War I to prevent the other men in his troop from becoming vampire fodder, and George, a neurotic young man who was attacked by a werewolf while vacationing in Scotland, and now changes into a werewolf under the full moon.

Unseen at present, George and Mitchell have become friends (odd, since vampires usually hate werewolves) and move into Annie's old home. It is only a matter of time before Annie introduces herself to the new tenants.

George and Mitchell have decided to try to slip into normal human society. George is careful about where he is when he transforms every month, usually in the woods, where he will likely only kill wild animals in his wolf form, and later, in an enclosed room. Mitchell is trying to wean himself off of blood, and is often seen snacking on food throughout the series.

Annie, however, is trying to discover how she died and why she's still around. To her delight, Mitchell and George can always see her, as they are supernatural, but normal humans can only see her when she is completely self-confident.

Spoilers

Episode one throws the viewer into lives of the trio (okay, two lives and an afterlife), as George is forced to stay at home as he transforms, Annie discovers her fiance is dating the woman she dreaded that he would turn to, and Mitchell must deal with Lauren, a young woman he made into a vampire during the opening monologue, and later, other vampires appear to make life difficult for Mitchell and his friends: the leader of the vampires Herrick, and Seth, a vampire who hides as an undertaker, ready to cart new vampire recruits to the vampire headquarters. (Placed in a funeral parlor, a device so cliche, even the characters comment on it.)

In episode two George discovers another werewolf, Tully, who moves in with the trio, as a mentor to George. However, he quickly becomes a pain, and despite his initial chumminess with Mitchell and charming Annie, alienates everyone but George. Tully eventually reveals a secret to George that makes George decide to end the friendship with his mentor and return home.

Episode three finds Annie struggling with her anxiety, and Mitchell and George introduce her to Gilbert, a guy who died in the 1980's, who tries to help Annie deal with her afterlife and possibly discover why she hasn't "crossed over." However, it results in her discovering the circumstances of her death. Meanwhile, George develops a romantic relationship with coworker Nina, while Mitchell tries to help Lauren with her blood addiction.

Episode four finds Mitchell attempting to befriend Bernie, a neighborhood boy, but when Mitchell accidentally loans him a vampire snuff video, the entire community thinks George and Mitchell are pedophiles, which sours Mitchell's desire to join humanity, and complicates George's relationship with Nina. Meanwhile, Annie discovers that her emotional turmoil over her death has led to poltergeist activity, and she tries to control it.

Episode five finds Mitchell joining the vampires again, helping them with their plan to convert the world to vampires, but an old flame and George and Annie help him see the vampires' true plan. George overcomes some of his hesitation to act, while Annie confronts her murderer.

In episode six, deciding to end the vampires' hold over him once and for all, Mitchell challenges Herrick to a fight. George, however, sees this as his opportunity to pay Mitchell back for the moment that they met: Mitchell saving George from being beaten to death by other vampires.

While some viewers want to nitpick about details they didn't catch, I found the entire series well-written and strung together very well. Character story arcs occur through the series, for example, in episode one, George expresses his disgust at Annie's presence, but in episode five, when Annie decides to resolve her death, George tells her that he doesn't want her to leave, now that he and Mitchell have been her friends.

Each episode consistently keeps a theme going in all the story threads. Fans have decided that the six episodes present the themes of death, friendship, love, identity, relationships, and resolutions.

Some American fans have criticized the series for it's short run. I think, however, that a short series helps the episodes become more plot driven, as opposed to American shows that often turn to fluffy subplots.

The acting is also terrific, from the leads to the secondary characters to the one episode-only characters. Just another reason to love it. One actor who plays a secondary character makes his character fairly likable in the first couple episodes, but later manages to act so evil, it was just amazing!

I'm still loving just how good this show is!

I'm A Monkey's Uncle...

This is my niece, Amber. (With her aunt Audrey and her dad, my brother Aaron.)



And yesterday, I scanned in Audrey's first ultrasound photos. Yes, she's pregnant. And according to the doctor, they conceived on the wedding night.



I've nicknamed Amber "Crazy Monkey Girl" because of her energy that always comes with kids that young. When Audrey told me that she was pregnant, I commented, "Well, there's another crazy monkey kid for me to be an uncle to... and it has a crazy monkey father."