Friday, August 21, 2009

Toddlers and Plastic Surgery

My sister posted this on a Facebook note. I agree...

As I was enjoying my wonderful day off, waiting for my husband to wake up from working overnight on thursday, I usually find myself online discussing things with friends over instant messaging, texting and so on. We often share things such as things we are looking up or watching and in this certain case, topics on papers being written for school.

When we think of plastic surgery, usually we see:
A) Someone with the most absolutely stunning body type who is flawless in all being.
B) Botox, no one wants to have wrinkly skin!
C) Liposuction, Nose Jobs, Chin Implants, Breast Reduction, Breast Enhancement
D) Hair Transplant, for people going bald or have thinning hair
Just to name off a few.

No one thinks about plastic surgery and suddenly thinks, "Oh! I should have my toddler go through that because they have a jelly roll!"

You heard me. Toddler.

I got sent a link to the most disturbing thing I have ever EVER seen on

Who in their right frame of mind would do such a thing? Made me sick. The article goes as follows, and I guess there is a book as well:
On Mothers Day, a new book called My Beautiful Mommy will be (self) published by a plastic surgeon. It's a picture book for young children that explains the ins and outs of Mommy's impending tummy tuck and nose job.
This book has generated a lot of controversy and got me thinking about children's notions of physical beauty. It also led me to a brilliant idea, which I unveil here for the first time.


First, let's consider toddlers' views on what makes a person beautiful. Let's be honest, isn't it annoying how clueless they are of true standards of beauty? All children seem to think, for example, that their moms are beautiful, even if she has a big nose or sagging skin...or worse.
I ask you: is this a healthy viewpoint? If we don't teach our toddlers otherwise, won't they take this misguided view of beauty into later childhood, even adulthood? Imagine the consequences to society if everyone was considered beautiful in his/her own way.
And should we be praising toddlers for how they look, when they invariably possess offensive pot bellies and gross rolls of 'baby fat'? Give me a break. Who really likes a big fat stomach on any human of any age? You don't like one on yourself, why should you on a child? Imagine the let-down in store for them when their cherished jelly bellies become objects of ridicule by their peers!
No, far better to 1) to teach them the real standards of beauty from early on (hence: My Beautiful Mommy), and 2) at the same time help them to achieve that ideal of beauty with the help of modern medicine (hence: my brilliancy).


As I thought more about this book, I realized that there's simply no excuse in this day and age for you not to be a beautiful mommy or for you to have a pug-ugly toddler. Welcome to Dr. P's Spa for Toddler Cosmetic Surgery, offering a full range of beautification services for the little ones:

-Liposuction to tuck in that protruding stomach! I have already spoken of the long-term horrors of the jelly belly.
-Hair transplants for that wispy hair. Your toddler isn't an old man. Why should his hair look like it belongs to one?
-Nose jobs (a "mini bob"). True, most toddler noses haven't yet achieved their full offensive size and shape, but there are numerous asymmetries and improper angles. A little tweaking could render them absolutely perfect.
-Shaving a few inches off thunder thighs. This also promotes walking without inter-thigh friction, which can cause unsightly rashes and an unsteady gait.
-Male member enlargement. As a man, I find toddlers' tiny weenies to be disgraceful.
-Implants (saline, not silicone - I am all about health) in girls for their pathetically undeveloped breasts. Eventually she will have to deal with womanly breasts - why not learn to manage them well before the inevitable shock of puberty?
-A butt lift. Let's be honest, on whom does a big butt ever look good? And diapers only add to their apparent heft!
-Botox to make their eyes larger. Nothing is worse in my book than beady-eyed toddlers. They look so untrustworthy.


The benefits of my modest proposal will already be obvious to you. It will, for example, be easier for parents to love a cosmetically perfect child than a flawed one, so parent-child bonding will be enhanced. Other kids will admire and respect your surgically perfected child, whose social cache will skyrocket. And proper values will have been instilled from an early age.
So, watch for the grand opening of Dr. P's Spa for Toddler Cosmetic Surgery. In my humble opinion, sure to be the next great 21st century advancement in pediatric care.

I know this is going to sound completely horrible, but I am kinda thankful the guy that wrote that has passed on. Who would think such a thing about little children? Seriously. What should it matter to human eye anyway? A child is beautiful in the way they were made for they were made in Gods image:
Genesis 1:27
-So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

I love the way children see things, there isn't any imperfections or doubts or regrets or worries. There is complete adoration and compassionate love for people. I wish somedays we could revert back to that child like state and see everything as they do because then really to be honest, we would love everything a lot deeper and see things as God made us to see them. Not to pick out every tiny aspect of what is wrong, but to just love it whole heartedly for the natural beauty that it has. Wouldn't that be completely awesome?
Is this how unhealthily obsessed with beauty our culture has become?

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