Thursday, May 3, 2012


So, my brother Drew and I banter a bit. Here's some of the best.

Me: "You want to go to Rapid Robert's?"
Drew: "Okay."
Me: "You should probably get pants and shoes on, then."
Drew: "You mean they won't let me in without them?"
Me:" If you go like that, you'll get attention, likely the wrong type. Like that guy who came in without a shirt today. I tried to be professional and hid behind the broiler."
Drew: "... Wow. You are not professional at all."
Me: "No I am not."

Drew: "Angelo is your clone. Well, he doesn't look like you, but he acts like you."
Me: "Will he discover he's gay at 25?"
Drew: "I hope not."

Me: "This e-mail is from two years ago. I never delete e-mail. You never know when you need to blackmail someone."
Drew: "How would you blackmail someone with that?"
Me: "I don't know."

Me: "I didn't get The Big Bang Theory at first. It just seemed to be about a bunch of nerds with poor social skills. But now, I kinda like it."
Drew: "Because you're a nerd with poor social skills?"
Me: "Probably."

Me: "You can go out and pick up a hooker and ask her to watch the rest of Animation Domination with you for $2. And she'll say 'Does that include Bob's Burgers?' and you say 'No,' and she says, 'I'm in.' But she dies of lung cancer in your lap. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here thinking, 'I'm so alone...'"
Drew: "Hey! You have Phantom!" (Phantom is my cat.)
Me: "... I'm so alone..."

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