My 12 Days Of Christmas...

This year, on Facebook, I decided that on 12 consecutive days in December, I'd post in my status messages that parodied "The Twelve Days Of Christmas." Today was the last day, so here they all are. I don't find them particularly hilarious, but they make for a fun read.

Jared is NOT giving someone a partridge in a pear tree.
Jared didn't order two turtledoves from Amazon.com.
Jared finds three french hens to be delicious...
Jared wants to make those four calling birds SHUT UP!!!
Jared pawned the five golden rings at Gold Digger's Exchange & Pawn and got really ripped off...
Jared is beating the egg market with six geese a-laying.
Jared is listening to Yogi Yorgesson while watching seven swans a-swimmng.
Jared is watching eight maids a milking because he's low on milk.
Jared missed the nine ladies dancing... Yes, that is a tragedy.
Jared can't even rent the Ten Lords A Leaping service, so don't ask!
Jared finds the eleven pipers piping annoying.
Jared wore earplugs around the twelve drummers drumming. It's over... Merry Christmas!